Open fire; Sydney 2013

FARK. I want you to understand so badly how I'm feeling right now. But I can't possibly put this feeling into words. Is it love? Is it obsession? Its definitely not normal. HAHA. Maybe abit of every emotion in the book.

You know why?

Cause I saw him. 

I saw Lee hom.

DON'T TELL ME TO CALM MY FARM, CHILL MY TITS OR RELAX. 

This is serious, I need help cause my heart can't take it no more.

Sigh. Kind of wishing I didn't see him in concert. Cause now I love him even more.

Before I was slowly getting over him and listening to his music was "yeh, very good, alright". Now when I think back to how GOOD he was Live.. DAMN. No one can compare. I'm being absolutely serious.

He is perfect on stage. Hits every note perfectly. If you close your eyes, you'd probably think you're in heaven just listening to angels. THATS how good it was. No lip syncing, no fakeness.. Just a genuinely awesome music artist on stage.

I can't even describe the amount of talent. Jeebus.

every second of that concert was just awesome. Even his new songs which I can admit are really not very great at all, sounded so good coming from his mouth.

Couldn't believe he was actually there, in the same room as me. not even 50 metres away.

I wanted to run from my seat and hug him so badly.

All the time I was screaming from my seat, I wanted and hoped that he could hear me. I screamed out I LOVE YOU LEE HOM when it had gone all silent as the song was just about to start. I really wanted him to notice me..How sad.

I understand how gay this is sounding and how weird it might be for you peeps. But DAYUM. My idol since I was 7, I'M EXCITED just THINKING back to it.

I never thought I'd be able to see him. Ever.

Its the kind of thing you only dream about but never expect to happen. Like winning the lottery. Or finding the perfect man. Or for fairies to come flying out my ass. HAHA Things like that just don't happen.

In the middle of the concert, some guy proposed to his girlfriend. That lucky girl.God damn it. THAT SHOULD BE ME, having Forever Love sung to me. Having him walk down from the stage to hug me. SIGH. all the jelly.

Anywho I think i should stop now. I'm going to explode. Going to roll to badminton so I can snap back to reality. lol. If he comes to Australia again.. I'm definitely going to try and make it.
Aside from thaat craziness... I had a pretty nice time in Sydney. Went down with my cousin Emily- Happy 18th by the way baby! Got her to try Rekorderlig cause tis the bomb.
ok ready? BOOM. Picture spam. *cue elevator music*

Did alot of walking, shopping and eating. So much eating.. 10pm .. "you hungry..?" "yea..." LOL then come back with hot chips. Fatties.
But as much as Sydney was fun, I was happy to come home to Adelaide. I think the people are generally just nicer, the streets are friendlier, less bustling and busy. I love Adelaide to be honest. :')

Poppin' tags.

So you know I HAVE to make a post about dent camp.. HERE GOES!

Dental camp '13 OH MAN. It's been two years since I've been. First time I went, I'll admit I only went so that I'd make friends and stop being such a loner in my lectures. I was sick of the whole trying to quietly squeeze into a gap in the group circle and be like 'Yea, i know what you're talking about!' when clearly, I was so out of the friend group I might as well have just given up.

I blame having a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend during the first year of uni- especially at the start is actually really difficult. I spent all my free time with said boyfriend and his friends that I had forgotten the most important part of uni. making your OWN friends. LOL. Struggle-town for me when it came to leaching off people's assignments. For once in my life I had to do my own work, hand in my own ideas and no, lets not go there again. It wasn't such a pleasant uni experience for the first half of the year.

Thank you dental camp, for making friends for me. Thanks for the drunken nights, the dazed mornings and all the fun you bring. If you're a dent/med/camp-going-course kid that hasn't been to camp yet, GET ON IT, JIGGA! 

So main reason for camp was to release all der stress up in my face from the crazy patients that come into the ADH. Man, patients are difficult. But thats another story. Reason number two? Checking out the first years, and meeting second years that I didn't have the chance to meet last year. 

Helloooooo first years, you rude-ass pricks. Well, not all of them. But the minority just ruined it for everyone. Don't know where they got all their confidence from, but they were just so up-themselves, inconsiderate and rude to their seniors. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, ASS-MUNCHER? Go back to highschool please. Sigh. But other than that, camp was legendary- as per usual. Aside from the lame Mexican and Thrift-shop themes. Oh themes, how I despise you.

Made friends- forgot alot of names but oh well, danced through the night, bartended for a little while, threw up, took photos, sang songs. This one guy was so awesome at guitar. 10years, dayum that is dedication. I was lead singer ofcourse ;) haha SHUT UP, I'm not that bad. :D maybe.

Goodnight noodles, have a good day tomorrow. If you're having a bad day, just say to yourself- But I'm awesome like Jun, I can do it. HAHA. I'll ttyl. Less than tree. I mean three. <3 div="">

Take over control

Trust. Its definitely hard to build. And once something happens to break the bridge of emotion that we call trust, the bridge is not nearly as strong as it used to be. Unless you build a completely different bridge. A new bridge with different materials and high tech construction techniques and special state-of-the-art machinery. An analogy for moving onto someone else. A new friend, a new relationship. O:

How to work on a broken bridge? It may not even have to be broken, maybe just a couple cracks here and there. Even so, difficulty level x9000. Why? cause of that lump in your chest-the heart. The heart is like besties with your brain, and together they create feelings you never knew you had. Oh, the feelings. THE FEELINGS. I'm sure its not just me. Crazy ones that you don't even understand why they're happening. Too bad too sad, they just do. And you need to learn to cope with them, calm your boobies and be cool.

Be cool and then think about what just happened. Is it really as bad as you think it is? And even if it is, should you let it affect you? 

I tried doing that today. At first I have to admit, i totally jumped to conclusions and just flipped the table. Then I picked the table back up and just faceplanted on it. *insert fml meme here*

Then the trust issue was brought up.

Trust? Do I trust you?

Then I thought about it properly. Why would you lie to me? What would you even gain from doing that. You can't be that stupid, no one is. 

It obviously did affect me, or else I wouldn't bother blogging about it *DUHH*. but it sure is hard to deal with people and trust though. What with people lying to your face everyday, be it that two-faced nob in your class, your girlfriend telling you she was home all night, or your brother telling you he DIDN'T eat half the avocado last night. Poor avocado :( Or even just thinking about what you yourself have lied about in the past. If YOU had the capacity to do it, OTHERS might too. I won't pretend I'm a good person. Of course I've lied before. Heaps.

Theres always that fear/anxiousness that people might betray you. Because we're all human. And humans make mistakes. Maaany many of them, as past experience has proven.

So its understandable why people have such trouble having faith in each other. Psst, I sure don't trust alot of people. Sure I might be gullible-"Look! Someone wrote the word gullible on the ceiling. *Jun looks up*", but when it comes to the bigger things, I'm always second-guessing, always being skeptical. Some say its good that you don't trust easy, so you don't get hurt. But I'm pretty sure you get hurt all the same, one way or the other.

Its some pretty deep shiz, I don't even really know what i'm saying. I sound like a child trying to write about adult things. Its all turning into word vomit. plus three AM-ness, need I say more?

Seeing a patient that has epilepsy tomorrow. Sure hope he doesn't have a seizure while I'm holding sharp things in his mouth. D': steady.. steady....... BAM! Dead. No, I didn't jinx. 

Goodnight.

The Fringe

Hey boys and girls.
I feel like its been an age and a half since I last posted. Not because alot has happened, but because the week has gone by ohhh so sloowwwly. Between all that pre-clin uni, time just feels like it has stopped for a while. And as exciting as uni is, I was so happy to be able to sleep in this morning :)

Today was pretty fail. I somehow managed to drop my phone in the toilet as I was about to leave, and BAM! Ninja-reflexes made my hand dive into the pool of sexy and take it out. Lucky for me, I had already flushed. And yes, my phone is ok now. I saved it. I'm a life-saver. trololol

Then me, being the best future house-wife ever, had to wash my laundry twice- forgetting to put any washing powder in the machine the first time, and ironed my shirt with a hair straightener. It works, just for your information if you're ever in the same emergency situation. haha.

Guess this is just a disclaimer to anyone out there who didn't already know, if you want all THIS *points at self* then you're going to have to be preeetty good with the house work. and cooking. and life in general. haha you know, to make up for my lack of.
Or maybe I should just not be such a nob.
........nah.

I'm hoping it'll all come to me one day down the track. Women these days are more career orientated anyway, and they still get by just fine. I think.

Sturt teams tournament tomorrow. Its an all day thing too. 12-9pm. Was supposed to use today to study so that I wouldn't have to be up late tomorrow night after the tournament.. But that didn't exactly go to plan- Online shopping *cough cough* what?- LOL. Sad. But I shouldn't complain. it was a fun couple of hours. And the rest of the time, I don't even know WHAT happened. I might have taken a nap. Might have had multiple snack times. Who knows.

The title up there might infer that i have been to the fringe. LOL I haven't (I'm so deceptive). Was thinking about maybe going. Maybe would like to go later in the week. Maybe. Its the Happening thing right now in little Adelaide. Maybe I should be Happening too and go check it out. Maybe watch something for once. Maybe do something fun. maybe don't be such a toolbag. Maybe.

But obviously MAYBES always skew to the Negatory side- so maybe means no, in most cases. So no, don't think I will be going. And yes, that was pointless- SO WHAT!? I'm leaving it here. Just 'cause. SO sca-rewwww, you.
Man I'm weird tonight.

OH GUYS GUYS, there is a Fancy Burger on Rundle St! Who knew? You knew? If you knew why didn't you tell me!? LOL.
Definitely going to try it out, I heard its pretty good.
Wish I were more adventurous. and tried out more things. Thats another thing to work on. The list is getting longer people! Get crack-a-lackin'!

year-a-versary

So, Valentines day eh?

I have always been the one who doesn't reeeeally look forward to it. The day would be spent just watching other people get stuff and be loved. In highschool there were a couple times I got a pretty rose or two, but they were just from them good guy besties who worry you'll be sad that you're all alone and stab yourself in the foot. Even if I did have a boyfriend for V-day, there would always be the constant nagging in my head- did you give a nice enough present, do they truly know how much you care..? In some cases- why didn't he get me anything, why didn't he wish me a happy valentines day? :/ awks.
Following that, I woke up for 8am lecture that morning just absolutely cheesed off about it being Valentines day, thinking- its all just a scam. Just a way to jack up the prices on roses.

But I have to say it was quite a pleasant v-day this year.

I actually didn't see the rose stuck on the inside of my locker when I opened it.. Changed my clinic coat, got all my stuff ready to go, then I see it and just think '..there wasn't one of those the last time I checked...' Haha. It genuinely surprised me. And ofcourse, it made me smile.
The morning was bad. Full of boring lectures and periodontal probing. But that rose just made me happy the whole day. :)

Thought that was the end of it, but I got home to find chocolates waiting for me with my name on it. I actually what-the-effed. Jeebus, 2013 you're doing pretty good so far.
That night I found out who it was and what-the-effed even more. Didn't even know the guy properly. He was the one whose name I always forgot. I think I've said like four sentences to him in total since we met.

^pose much? YES I DO.
..I guess you never really think about those people, do you?
We all have secret crushes, those people who- when we see them we can't help but smile inside.
But all we ever think about is the guy or girl we like.
Too busy to realise- maybe someone likes YOU and you don't know it. Maybe YOU'RE that someone who makes them smile. And while you're busy fawning over that guy you're so keen on, the poor guy over there is watching you, oh so brokenhearted.
SAD LOVE STORY GUYS. ALWAYS HAPPENS. It really can't be helped. Thats why love is so stupid, thats why its such an A-HOLE.

Anywhoop. Today was the 16th Feb. pretty big day. For me atleast.. But once again I set myself up for disappointment when things didn't happen the way I wanted them to. What can you do?

Just lower your expectations, don't have hopes and be a pushover. Like me. All the time.
Gotta fix that glitch soon.. And when it IS fixed, I hope you're ready for it. Some of you are go'n get slapped.

Ps. Peach goes well with oatmeal. Try it. It blew my mind. I think I love it.

You float my steamboat

Look at all that green vegie goodness. Let me start off by saying- Happy Chinese new year, all ma' asian homies out thurr. Hope you get all the luck, all the money, all the fun, all the happy this year. Don't freak out ya'll.

This whole weekend has just been.. wonderful food. and more food. and food. SO MUCH FOOD.

Steamboat, Watermark buffet, Krispy Kremes, Egg rolls, love letters and pineapple cake. So. Much. goodness.

Its nice having the whole family together to celebrate. makes me one happy chap.

Would like to take the time to explain to you how cute my little niece Chanelle is. Well technically not my niece but.. Cousin's daughter- You know what I mean! Someone told me she would be my first cousin once removed but then another person told me that she would be my 2nd cousin. Neither make any sense and don't sound very nice so.. I'm going to call her my niece. Cause I live on the edge.

SO CUTE OH MY GOSH. She makes me want to drop out of uni and be a teenage mum. Being able to hold her and squish her chubby face.. I can't explain the happiness. She has tiny fingers, tiny knuckles, tiny toes, tiny lips.. How can something so small bring so much joy? I can't wait til she starts talking, then I can talk to her and tell her all my secrets.

I'm in Love. You see this jumper I'm wearing? I wish you could feel it. Cause it feels like motherhood material!! oh -ho-ho-ho.

 

 Trololol. Bet you were scrolling down going 'aww' at pics of the baby then BAM! Hobokins in your face on the screen^. Yeah. That is some genuine sibling love. We're so similar, but so different. ♥
New year didn't feel like new year at all. Again maybe its just that I've grown to be so emotionally detached from things that I used to find excitement in over the past few years, but hey, it was fun no matter what we were celebrating. Hope you all had a good time this weekend too, whatever you were doing.

I said I'd make time to study just in the last post. But what do ya know- ended up being more behind than ever. I blame the festivities. Lol. Going to clinic with no treatment plan. Only spells out trouble. I knew you were- trouble when you walked innnnn. haha. YES I JUST DID IT. SO WHAT!?
I'm sorry. ;D
I leave you tonight with a picture my friend sent me as a suggestion of what I should be doing when I have my own private clinic. Best idea anyones ever had. In the history of the world. And the universe. Combined. For cereal. :)

Still afraid of the dentists? ..Yes? You duh gay. But I don't blame you. ahah

Goodnight sons and daughters. Happy new year.

I got a pocket full'a sunshine

People, I just have to put it out there and whinge, the past two weeks have been terribad.

Theres just so much to do for uni. I can barely keep my eyes open throughout the day and sometimes I need to sleep so badly that I feel like I could just cry. But I don't ofcourse, cause tears of champions are expensive. Could sell my tears for a kabajillion dollars.

Being the supergirl I am, I've tried my best to make time for the other equally important things in my life, you know the drill- friends, family, gym, badminton. I make commitments that I can barely keep, and carry them out so halfheartedly sometimes. I think thats why I'm so burnt out when its only been 2 weeks in. Theres just not enough time. Although these things are important to me, I should be focusing on my studies for now. For myself.

Its not like I'm doing badly in my course or anything, I just don't have the energy to be myself anymore. I'm like a zombie most of the time. To date this week, four different people in my class have stopped what they were about to say to me to ask if I was ok and to ask why I looked so sad. Sad is not the word. Dead is the word. LOL maybe this is the reason girls wear makeup. To cover up the dead look.

There comes a time when you realise these things and just need to knuckle down and work harder. If I can work harder, I'll have more time for other things, and more importantly, more time for SLEEP.

There also comes a time when I realise that I need to stop reading the timetable wrong. JEEBUS, Do you even Uni!? *shakes head* How many more times can this possibly happen, tard!? It's not that hard to read a timetable. And it shouldn't be this hard to be a good uni kid. 

Anywhoop after another week of pre-clin, I finally got to have a catch-up dinner/dessert date with my dent girlfriends Shannon and Viv. Star of Siam, Summers eve Friday markets and Chocolate Bean. The things we got to talking about, you can't imagine. 

I'm just so happy its Friday :)

PLUS, new eps of Big Bang Theory and Suits. Chaaaching! Life is good for the rest of tonight.