Saturday, October 18, 2014

Jello

Guys, I gotta be honest with you- haven't been in the best mental state these days. Emotionally, that is.
I don't know when I became this way.. So easily irritated, easily annoyed- one comment can just set me off. It's exhausting.
Its gotten to the point where I'm annoyed at myself for being so upset all the time. I ask myself 'Why are you upset?', and I can barely answer my own question.
No people, its not PMS. Like I always say, people CAN be mad and NOT be PMS'ing. They're called feelings. If you know me, you'll probably be aware of how much it ticks me off when people just assume a girl is on their PMS if they're even the slightest bit irritated. Sure, its a possibility, but its highly insensitive to just dismiss a girl's emotions, and attribute the feelings to PMS. Maybe she's ACTUALLY mad at you, cause you were being a dumbass.
There are so many better things I could be doing, but I choose to sulk and be a knob. Even the last time I played badminton, I shocked myself at how mad I was getting at myself. Every shot I messed up, every smash that went into the net, every time my footwork failed me. I'm usually quite a level-headed person, especially in badminton.
Lately, I don't know.

Need to learn not to be so sensitive. Not to over think things. Not to make up stupid scenarios in my head. Not to take things to heart.

Need to have more confidence in myself.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Soppy stuff

Hey there everybody.
Had the urge to blog today. Could be the copious amounts of coffee I've had today, could be the lack of sleep driving me insane. Could be that I have an exam/test tomorrow and I'm still trying to finish off my notes. Every. Single. Time.
I tell myself to be more prepared, but we know its not going to happen. Somewhere between badminton, friendships, relationships, uni, Modern Family and procrastination, I'm supposed to find time to write up notes!? What is life!? haha
Dad is pestering me to be a better student, using the whole- "You know how it is, people get into relationships then fail the year.." FUUU
Dad, If I fail the year, its because I'm not smart enough. Not because I'm in a relationship.
Past years have told me that although I may not have been the most prepared, I always push myself to get the work done in time. So its not a matter of how much hardwork I put in- because I always put in approximately the same amount of effort into my work, but how well I've grasped the concepts of the topics I've been studying.
Bottom line- If i fail, its my own fault. And I will be responsible for my own slip ups and exam mistakes. Why you blame duh boyf? luls.
If anything he makes me study more. Not like in previous relationships where I'd be sacrificing study time for fun time. If onnnnly dad knew.

Simons gone off to Coober Pedy today for work. Won't be back for 5 days.
5 days. What is 5 days really? Just 120 hours, just 7200 minutes, just 432 000 seconds, Jun.
I'm at that point in the relationship where I don't want to be away from him for even one day. Two days is pushing it. Three days I'm about to crack. By five days I would have cracked like Humpty Dumpty and my egg yolk heart will be splat on the floor. And if its a hot day it would have started cooking within a couple hours. Then the magpies and ants come and eat my soul. My soul goes to heaven but then gets rejected cause I wasn't from a Free-range chicken.
IS THAT HOW YOU WANT ME TO END UP, SIMON!? LOL
Woman, what crack are you on.
Anywho, being serious now, I'm glad I've found someone that I will miss if I don't see for a even a day. Even half a day. It's not often you find someone you're comfortable with, in doing everything.
Farting, pooping, skid marks, ingrown toenails, bears-in-the-cave, messy hair, hobo clothes and all.
Sorry, I'm grossing you out. I'll stop. I promise. haha
Unhealthy relationship you say? Seeing each other every day?
I used to say a definite yes. Yes, it is unhealthy, couples arn't supposed to be joined at the hip, to be considered one Unit, to be so engrossed in each others lives. Based on past experience, you should see them maximum 3 times a week. Absolute maximum.
But hey, my views have completely changed. And yes, it may still be a little bit of an 'Unhealthy' relationship, but if you don't feel this way about someone, sometime in the prime of your youth.. then when will you ever?
Never thought I could handle being around someone so often. But its happened. Oh goodness. Sure he annoys the crap out of me some times, but thats nothing an elbow to the face can't solve. :D
I shall stop talking your ears off with boring relationship stuff.

Promise I'll give you a few months break. Hahaha Just happy is all :)