Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The End

It's 4AM and I can't sleep. I stayed up in hopes of getting alot of study done. What do I end up doing? Stalk people on facebook to the early hours. Read blogs and blogs of crap that I don't need to know about. Go through deleting things on my phone that I no longer need.

So one of my closest friends recently broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years. Why? On going problems that kept resurfacing. Differences in values. Issues with personalities, interests, compatibility. 
Moreover, they didn't share the same want for that relationship.
He made so many good points. The kind of logic that can only come from experience. And I wish I had more of that kind of logic.
How can a relationship work without both people wanting the same thing?
If one decides that it's finally time to give up, that the relationship is at its end.. Is there really any use of the other to try and convince them otherwise? What does that achieve? One person becomes reliant on the other for their happiness, whilst the other is suppressing their feelings, their personality and ultimately changing themselves to suit their partner. 
Once one person decides its time to end it, the other must respect their decision and accept. Accept, and move on. Is there any use of dwelling in the past?
Sure, the past may have been good for them, and yes there are some couples that are able to recuperate after a break up, correct what was going wrong and continue making each other happy. But once you break up with someone, is it ever going to be the same again? 
I guess its always a given- Couples break up for a reason, and that reason must have been a damn good one if it has caused two people to cut their losses and run. 

After all this, I feel like I need to make the same rule as he has.
No relapse after a break-up. No matter who it is, once its over, its over.

Sure, change is inevitable, is good and can benefit a relationship. But just how MUCH change is needed? In good relationships you find someone that can accept you for who you are and love you as you are. You are each other's best friend. Change happens over time, learning from mistakes and whatnot, but if you're at the point where you feel like you've become a whole different person, there could be underlying problems.
And then, how long will you be able to keep up this ruse? One day it might hit you hard that you've stopped being yourself, doing things that you enjoy, hanging out with people you actually like. All for this one person. -How much pressure are you putting on that other person then? It becomes the issue of "I've sacrificed so much for you, now what have you done for me?"-

I for one cannot deal with that kind of pressure.

Man, life and love are things that are sometimes going to make you feel like you've been hit by a truck. After you've been hit, spend some time alone, cry it all out. Then we have to learn to just pick yourself up, do things that make you be a better person, and further down the track, look for the next Romeo/Juliet. And maybe pick up a few tips for relationships on the way.
No reason to stop trying just because you've been hurt. What is life without abit of adventure and experience?

How else do people learn in this world? :)
I sure have learnt alot. 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


If you've ever been liked by someone that for whatever reason you just can't return the same feelings for.. you probably know what I'm feeling.
Its the part where you know that person has stopped liking you, and you feel.. sad. jealous even. or maybe think to yourself 'Why don't they like me anymore?'
I find it so weird, and selfish of me to think this, but I do. I can't help it! Its not exactly as if I had any intention of letting him become anything more than what we were. But the minute I get the feeling they're letting go, I feel like I've lost something.
Super selfish, I know. Super stupid too.
Guess its one of those things where you don't truly realise how good they were to you until they're walking away.

Exams in less than three weeks. Scared? Ofcourse I am.
Never ever want to see a Borderline ever again.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Gee cee 2013

Uni games round #2? I think so! What can I say, more badminton, more exercise, more socializing, more team bonding, more partying. Alot more partying.
I would LIKE to think that I don't succumb to peer pressure and partying but it has happened. How not to when you're room mates with the craziest party animals? hahah oh laura. oh kathleen.

But then again, unigames is not about the badminton. It's about the late nights, the 'never have I ever' games, the over-loading of alcohol, before having to get up the next day at 7am and drag yourself through a singles match without chucking.

Not proud of it but if you don't go crazy at the gold coast, where will you ever? #yolo. 
.. that was gay. LOL no yolo.

GC was definitely not about the badminton, especially cause I rolled my ankle on the third day. Abit of a bummer, but hey, atleast Laura had a super fun time stepping up to #1. LOL poor child.

The last night was definitely the craziest. Did a few things that I don't think I'll ever repeat again. Regret? Maybe. But no one will ever know right? What happens at unigames stays there right? lol. 

When not at a baddy game, we spent our days chilling at the beach, walking around the shops and taking team naps at the apartment. The apartment? Amazing. 17 floors up with a huge balcony facing the beach. Sitting out there watching the waves while eating breakfast and drinking coffee.. it's the reason I was able to get up at all in the mornings. haha. Going to miss that balcony :') And at night, sitting there watching the lights.. truely calming. Except when you start to hear drunken yells from below. Then its time to head back inside and drink more. HAHA just kidding.

The famous Beach front markets were really awesome. They had some really interesting stuff, even like a little roasted frog that they made into a keychain.. wtf. haha but I enjoyed myself there so much that I went twice. There was one bracelet that I really wanted, but decided on giving it to a friend. Even though he didn't particularly like it, didn't even say thanks and totally forgot I even got him a present. all that appreciation.
I thought what a waste, so I took it back. He didn't even notice. Thats gotta hit you in the heart like a bullet train..
On the more positive side, atleast I have a souvenir that I like from goldcoast.

So.. Sydney Unigames 2014? 
Super keen.

..^and that was only half way through the week. Liver damage? Fo sho.