Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The End

It's 4AM and I can't sleep. I stayed up in hopes of getting alot of study done. What do I end up doing? Stalk people on facebook to the early hours. Read blogs and blogs of crap that I don't need to know about. Go through deleting things on my phone that I no longer need.

So one of my closest friends recently broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years. Why? On going problems that kept resurfacing. Differences in values. Issues with personalities, interests, compatibility. 
Moreover, they didn't share the same want for that relationship.
He made so many good points. The kind of logic that can only come from experience. And I wish I had more of that kind of logic.
How can a relationship work without both people wanting the same thing?
If one decides that it's finally time to give up, that the relationship is at its end.. Is there really any use of the other to try and convince them otherwise? What does that achieve? One person becomes reliant on the other for their happiness, whilst the other is suppressing their feelings, their personality and ultimately changing themselves to suit their partner. 
Once one person decides its time to end it, the other must respect their decision and accept. Accept, and move on. Is there any use of dwelling in the past?
Sure, the past may have been good for them, and yes there are some couples that are able to recuperate after a break up, correct what was going wrong and continue making each other happy. But once you break up with someone, is it ever going to be the same again? 
I guess its always a given- Couples break up for a reason, and that reason must have been a damn good one if it has caused two people to cut their losses and run. 

After all this, I feel like I need to make the same rule as he has.
No relapse after a break-up. No matter who it is, once its over, its over.

Sure, change is inevitable, is good and can benefit a relationship. But just how MUCH change is needed? In good relationships you find someone that can accept you for who you are and love you as you are. You are each other's best friend. Change happens over time, learning from mistakes and whatnot, but if you're at the point where you feel like you've become a whole different person, there could be underlying problems.
And then, how long will you be able to keep up this ruse? One day it might hit you hard that you've stopped being yourself, doing things that you enjoy, hanging out with people you actually like. All for this one person. -How much pressure are you putting on that other person then? It becomes the issue of "I've sacrificed so much for you, now what have you done for me?"-

I for one cannot deal with that kind of pressure.

Man, life and love are things that are sometimes going to make you feel like you've been hit by a truck. After you've been hit, spend some time alone, cry it all out. Then we have to learn to just pick yourself up, do things that make you be a better person, and further down the track, look for the next Romeo/Juliet. And maybe pick up a few tips for relationships on the way.
No reason to stop trying just because you've been hurt. What is life without abit of adventure and experience?

How else do people learn in this world? :)
I sure have learnt alot. 

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