Saturday, May 26, 2012


I really have to work on the whole Willpower thing people talk about. Setting a goal, heading out to complete it, and just when I'm about to reach the end, something triggers me and I just stop trying. I was almost there.. I was.
I know, I know. Its useless just whining about it, just go and do it blah blah blah. I know. It just frustrates me so much when I don't get the results I set out for, even though inside I know it was up to me to make those things happen. And I couldn't do it :'/
Then later you ask yourself, why COULDN'T you do it? Sad.
Gotta work on it.

Past week has been hectic, evvvverything going on. New hobbies, new activities, new friends, old friends, get-togethers, family committments, long hours, finishing assignments. No wonder why I had no spare time this week. But its ok. I quite liked it. Being busy although exhausting and sometimes stressful gives me time away from my thoughts. Those deep, dark, sometimes irrational and illogical thoughts. Those ones that just keep you awake at night.
The moment I turn off my light and get into bed, my eyes close and I just switch off. It's quite a change from the norm. And I like it. :)
The cold weather must have something to do with it too. Electric blanket IS love. haha.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Just terrible

Terri-bad? Thats a word I haven't heard being used in a while..
So what's just terrible, you ask?
Me. I'm terrible. Terrible at comforting people when they're down. Terrible at stopping the tears from falling out. JUST TERRIBLE! Even the people who say nothing but 'there there' and leave after a pat on the shoulder.. actually no that's pretty bad too. LOL. Sure I might talk alot about ridiculous stuff, have noob opinions and laugh about stupid things almost 24/7, but when it comes down to these 'there there' situations I have aaaabsolutely nothing to say :\
One such occasion happened today where my friend had eyes swollen to the size of tennis balls and was sobbing her heart out. Ofcourse it was about a guy, what else? Girls these days. pfft. HAHA I kid.
Sure, I didn't know much of the story and only had a general idea of what was happening, but why didn't I say something atleast a little empathetic? Cause totally, when you're crying you want to hear 'don't worry about it, time for clinic, lets go in and own it!'
.... this girl is pouring out heartbroken tears of SADNESS and you're just talking about going to clinic? ERR. Then came the "I'm going to hug you now, and its going to be awkward.. *hug* don't cry.." I literally said that. Shoot me now. Why, oh why, was I the only one in the bathroom..

More crap to say, clinic was a bummer. I guess its the first clinic in a while thats been shitty.. but I don't know, put me in a gay mood. I felt.. unsatisfactory. I felt incompetent. Who breaches infection control policies at this level!? Sigh. Another slip up could cost me that pass I so desperately want. Not being dramatic, no kidding. That's what my tutor said. I need to focus more when I'm in there. Fo' reals. It's not like I've exactly put in 110%. Which is noooo good. no good at all!

I guess from today's events I've learnt that I have a few aspects of myself that I really need to work on. Wait, doesn't that mean I have to change? Ofcourse it does. Change is for the better, if you're changing for yourself. The right reasons. Whatever makes you happy :) You know what makes me happy? You. Wow, this is off topic.


Sunday, May 13, 2012


Ofcourse I'd blog after a pubcrawl! Cause who wouldn't!
A night of epic proportions, fun times and slightly vague memories of what I did or did not do/say.
I've gotta admit, I have to be careful about what I do at these events.. There is only so much boob poking I should do to avoid looking slightly lesbian. Ohhh my gosh. Apparently I did much funnier things, which I will definitely find out about on Monday at uni. :/

Caught up with all my dent friends, met some new people and had conversations with people that I never thought I'd talk to. Started the night wearing ridonkulous high heels *so smart* and ended up buying new boots to ease the pain. Thank gosh for late-night shopping on Friday nights. Wow, those boots are comfortable. It's like walking on a cloud, after those killer heels. I still remember the over-ecstatic feeling.
Stupid idea really, wearing heels last night. Now my ankles are way worse off than they were after the baddy tournament! That'll teach me to try and be a girl. LOL.

Love events like these. Just brings everyone together, even if it takes copious amounts of alcohol to do it! Not that I drank alot. ahha
Woopwoop, bring on the next one!

Monday, May 7, 2012


And so two weeks have passed, and two tournaments have been played. What did I come out of it with? No trophy, two rolled ankles, a super sore butt, plus a reminder message to pay the entry fee ASAP to avoid accruing a HEFTY fine. LOL yea, $40 on top of the $50 entry is pretty hefty, POOP.
Sigh. Cannot remember the last time I played in a tournament and came out winning nothing. It's like a slap in the face telling me WHY YOU SO BAD!? I guess I need to really step it up. But just. so. ceebs! :\ I mean, its not as if I'm getting bored of badminton or anything, it still rocks my socks in just the right amounts. But I just yeah. Improvement takes work, and its not right up there on my list of priorities at the moment. DO need to improve though. Shithouse has never been so shit! Look at me, cranking the swear words and all, like I'm grown up or something. *giggles*
I did have fun though. :)

There was a moment during the tournament, actually there were a couple, where I felt like I could just cry. But I didn't. Know why? Cause I'm a boss. HAHA. But in all seriousness I literally just stopped thinking about how crap I was playing, and thought about other things I was good at. It actually works, this positive thinking stuff! You would beeee surprised. Made ME a happier chap, at any rate.
And if you don't have things you're good at. PSSH, what are you talking about, you ARE good at something. Think about yourself really hard. If you still think you're not good at anything..
You're just not thinking hard enough.

What else has been going on?
Exam in 4 weeks, time to get my nerd-dizzle glasses on and study.
But not before PUBCRAWL, woopwoop! This Friday shall be awesome. Already bought my shirt ;)