Wednesday, March 26, 2014


Just recently I hit 20,000 views. Haha Sounds alot to me, seeing as I didn't think any body really read my blog. Its more like a one-view-and-never-again type of blog. A special one. Haha..
On the other hand, I've been using this thing for what, three years now? Super long blog times :)

So I think I've been avoiding my blog for a while, simply because I know that when I start writing what I'm thinking, I'm going to have to face my thoughts. There are many thoughts just swimming in my fat head right now. Oh, so many.
Issues popping up left right and centre.. 2014 is so far for the lols.
Then again, 10 years down the track, all these issues probably won't matter. So I'm not too fussed. Positive mind set, epic perspectives.
The one thing I have trouble dealing with lately, is Friendships.
What is friendship? True friendship. Being there for one another when they need it, giving advice without being judgemental, providing that shoulder to cry on, but also making you laugh so hard that you pee your pants.
I think lately I've come to realise who my real friends are, at the same time, realising those who- when I really need help, wouldn't lift a finger for me. I don't blame them, its not like we were ever 'close'. I guess I'd call them 'circumstantial' friends. Those that are my friends purely because they have no choice.
The worst part is naively thinking that they'd all be there for me, support me, but then realising the opposite.
And from that, I've come to accept just how little close friends I have.
At times I think to myself- Who do I have to go to, when shit hits the fan? Who will come out at 3am to jump start my car? Who will be my friend, even through my bad past, my horrible mistakes, my un-wise choices?
I can only think of a few.
At times I wonder- when I'm old, who will be there with me still?
A few nights ago I was out with a group of people who I thought I was pretty 'close' with, a group I thought I had always had fun with. I was there a couple hours, when I suddenly found myself alone, feeling like shit for one reason or another, and standing there wondering who I had to turn to. Then it hit me. I wouldn't turn to any one in that room. Not one. single. person. All either not on the same page, judgemental, gossipy, or who had drifted apart from me at some point.
So I left early, alone. Lol. very un-Jun-like. Much tension in the room, much awkward, much confusion.
From this I guess, it made me sad. But then, I've come to treasure my true friends so much more. I'm glad I have so few close friends, so few that I can count them on one hand.
The true friends, the ones I want to keep in my life, the ones that will make the effort to keep ME in THEIR lives, the ones that will always be there to listen, the ones that don't care how bad of a person I've become, the ones that will simply tell me to get my shit together and be a better person.

I guess thats whats been on my mind lately. All these issues with so-called 'friends'.. I've had enough of it, really.. It's taking up too much of my mind-space, too much of my time, too much of my energy, too much of my care.
Sure, friends are nice. But they come and go. And because they're so fickle these days, who cares what they think? If I really want to do something, I shouldn't let their opinions stop me.
Sure, I've done some stupid shit that hardly deserve mentioning here on this blog, but so what. Everyone has. Eurgh. Its just that this friendship thing has been playing on my mind over and over oh ma gaaahhhdddd so ghey duh ferkkk. Maybe I need a new hobby.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Girls just wanna have fun

I'd apologize for not blogging in forever but, why blog if you're not feelin' it? It should be fun, something you enjoy doing :) Not some sort of chore that you feel you MUST do. Maybe thats how youtubers feel these days. The pressure to churn out vid after vid to please their crowd and gain subscribers. To the point where making videos is no longer something they enjoy. It then becomes an expectation. 
Thats probably the same for alot of things. Too much of anything is bad, its true.

I came home from badminton one night and walked into the living room. The first thing my dad comments on is how sick I look. Sick, pale girl. Gah. I hope it was just that night. But I think I actually feel weak most of the time lately. No matter how much sleep I get, no matter how much work I don't do lol. It's not like I've been exercising like crazy or anything either. Maybe I just need even MORE sleep. yeaaaa thats probably it. haha.

What have I been up to?
Ferris wheel rides, parties, studying, badminton, back to the gym (finally), working, birthdays -HAPPY 21st ROSEMAY!- and graduations.

LOL Busy busy. Always. haha.. Making the most of my 20s..before I turn 21 D: eurghhhh.
Shiet man. To plan a party or not to plan a party? I so ceebs with party and organization. Purely because I am terribly disorganized. I'll have to work on that at some point.

Back into reading, also. And I'm happy that I've made time to get back to it. I had forgotten how I used to feel, getting so into the storyline of the book, not wanting to put the book down. Before I know it, 3am rolls around and I'm half way into a fat book that I just started reading. I had forgotten how much I loved reading. Brings back memories, waking up the next morning to an open book and the bedroom light still on.
Not sure what prompted me to start reading again, I know I made it one of my new years resolutions. But it wasn't til I saw on youtube the trailer for 'The Fault in Our Stars' and saw heaps of good reviews on the book that I thought to myself 'i HAVE to have it'. I hardly ever get excited about buying books. Unless its harry potter. Or a Series of Unfortunate Events. Which reminds me, I have to re-read those. :)
Anywho, as soon as I saw the trailer on youtube and found out the storyline was from a book, I had to order it online. Another 'first' for me, since I've never bought a book online. But I just couldn't wait lol. Maybe I'm just getting more impatient.

After finishing the book, a sort of sadness lingered for a couple days. Not only because I had finished the book and so my bus rides would revert back to its dull book-less routine, but also because the ending was sad. Eurgh. I usually cannot take reading about dying people, people who have cancer, people who are less fortunate.. But I had a feeling that reading this book would make me appreciate life so much more. Appreciate those that care for me, those that look after me, those that love me. Appreciate being ultimately healthy, safe..alive. and yea. shit like that. HAHA. this is getting way too cheeseballs, i know. But dayum. I feel it guys. I feel it.
I will admit, the book wasn't THAT good. It was no Harry potter. The storyline even, was predictable. But I'm so happy to have read this book. What is wrong with me?! getting so worked up over a book. Maybe I'm just uber happy to be reading again. Maybe I just like them high-school reads. haha..

Parents are leaving early tomorrow morning. Let the fun begin!!
Not that I won't miss them. I'll miss them dearly. But hey, a girls gotta have fun right? ;D

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Short shorts

I got a haircut. Yes. ANOTHER one! Sheit son. So sassy. definitely abit on the short side for my liking but hey, new things to try, new experiences to have! Going to be a b-word trying to style it everyday so I guess as per usual it'll be pinned back. has to be anywho for clinic. 
I went into oh Kim's after lab today, not really caring what kind of style I got, just knew I wanted it shorter. My hair was getting out of control and had lost its shape already. Decided that I wanted something similar to how I originally had it cut, something like an asymmetrical bob. mannn she cut it short lol. Snips FIRST, THEN asks if it's ok. well woman, I guess it HAS to be okay, if it isn't then what can you even do about it? glue back the pieces of hair that you already cut off? haha jeebus. 
To be honest was super upset at how it looked cause she curled it straight after and I ended up looking like a French guy with a wig. Who CURLS such short asymmetrical hair?! Well.. other than her lol. But definitely looked better after I raced home and straightened it out. phew. 

well there's my cool story of the day. CSOTD for short. Loool. I should make that the new IN thing. 

hope I get all my remaining exercises completed tomorrow in my extra lab sesh.. no. not HOPE. I WILL. >:) motivation 9000+!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

First week

Fuarrk, the past few days have been super hectic. Mentally and emotionally challenging.
I didn't realise having full day 9-5 clinic sessions would be so demanding.
So my first fixed pros patient turned up needing two crowns and a bridge so.. Yay for fixed pros units! :D one step closer to graduating. LOL
But man. It was quite stressful, time management wise. Ghey alginate impressions. Stupid new orange estimate forms. Oh my glob the paperwork! Went over time by a whole hour, last one to dismiss the patient and then had to run off to my PCU session with an empty stomach. Twas sad. I shall be prepared with museli bars in the future ;D
Although that was nothing compared to my clinic session for Endodontics. I rolled in all confident, thinking all I'd do was a quick consult, figure out what needs to be done and then get my patient out of the chair by 3pm, at the latest. NEKMINIT tutor tells me to start extending the access cavity and to start instrumentation.
WHAT EVEN. I had no clue what I was doing. To be completely honest. Sure, we had all done it in lab a million times.. but to do it in my first session with no preparation- I thought I was going to dieeee.
Ofcourse all good though, my tutor was there to guide me through it for the most part. Although, again, managing to go over-time about an hour and being the last student in the clinic.
But again, Yay for Endo units! :D heh. Pretty sure I was the only one who started treatment that day.
Just wish I had been more prepared.

Aaaanywho. I'll stop talking now. Don't pretend that you're interested, you! Haha.
Man. It's MARCH already.. Hello Autumn, am I right?? :) Looking forward to the cool weather, all the jumpers I will wear, all the boots I will walk in, all the cuddles I will have- with my soft toys.