Take over control

Trust. Its definitely hard to build. And once something happens to break the bridge of emotion that we call trust, the bridge is not nearly as strong as it used to be. Unless you build a completely different bridge. A new bridge with different materials and high tech construction techniques and special state-of-the-art machinery. An analogy for moving onto someone else. A new friend, a new relationship. O:

How to work on a broken bridge? It may not even have to be broken, maybe just a couple cracks here and there. Even so, difficulty level x9000. Why? cause of that lump in your chest-the heart. The heart is like besties with your brain, and together they create feelings you never knew you had. Oh, the feelings. THE FEELINGS. I'm sure its not just me. Crazy ones that you don't even understand why they're happening. Too bad too sad, they just do. And you need to learn to cope with them, calm your boobies and be cool.

Be cool and then think about what just happened. Is it really as bad as you think it is? And even if it is, should you let it affect you? 

I tried doing that today. At first I have to admit, i totally jumped to conclusions and just flipped the table. Then I picked the table back up and just faceplanted on it. *insert fml meme here*

Then the trust issue was brought up.

Trust? Do I trust you?

Then I thought about it properly. Why would you lie to me? What would you even gain from doing that. You can't be that stupid, no one is. 

It obviously did affect me, or else I wouldn't bother blogging about it *DUHH*. but it sure is hard to deal with people and trust though. What with people lying to your face everyday, be it that two-faced nob in your class, your girlfriend telling you she was home all night, or your brother telling you he DIDN'T eat half the avocado last night. Poor avocado :( Or even just thinking about what you yourself have lied about in the past. If YOU had the capacity to do it, OTHERS might too. I won't pretend I'm a good person. Of course I've lied before. Heaps.

Theres always that fear/anxiousness that people might betray you. Because we're all human. And humans make mistakes. Maaany many of them, as past experience has proven.

So its understandable why people have such trouble having faith in each other. Psst, I sure don't trust alot of people. Sure I might be gullible-"Look! Someone wrote the word gullible on the ceiling. *Jun looks up*", but when it comes to the bigger things, I'm always second-guessing, always being skeptical. Some say its good that you don't trust easy, so you don't get hurt. But I'm pretty sure you get hurt all the same, one way or the other.

Its some pretty deep shiz, I don't even really know what i'm saying. I sound like a child trying to write about adult things. Its all turning into word vomit. plus three AM-ness, need I say more?

Seeing a patient that has epilepsy tomorrow. Sure hope he doesn't have a seizure while I'm holding sharp things in his mouth. D': steady.. steady....... BAM! Dead. No, I didn't jinx. 

Goodnight.