No, it's not okay.

Putting down how I feel on this blog has become pretty stupid, so I made another blog :) Too bad it's a secret blog, and none shall pass.

Yus, i've become one of those.

So..What do pirates use to blow their nose?

.. Anchorchiefs! HAHAHAHAH

Got that one off Tengwei's little sister, who by the way turned 13 recently :) yay for her teen years to come. Makes me want to be a kid again.. spending hours infront of the teevee watching Arthur, Babaar and Rugratz, doing times tables for homework, reading Harry Potter before bed, and not liking boys. That was the life wasn't it.

Totally unrelated, but why not? :D

Today was alright, I think I've just accepted that I suck at singles. Well, I won my singles games but they were games that wern't worth celebrating if you know what I mean. And so tomorrow I will die. But positive thinking, right? You believe in me.. right? LOL. no you don't but that is ok.-_-

Doubles with Verdet is a breeze, since she's so awesome sauce.

Mixed doubles start tomorrow, so yeh. You people should be subconsciously wishing us luck all day tomorrow, ya know? But it should be alright, cause Ian's going to play very awesome tomorrow, arn't you IAN WONG!? Yeh, thats what I thought.

U19 tournament tomorrow,

Wish me luck!

its a write off

accidents happen. and i should be glad it happened this way, where no one was hurt.

Fudge man.. i was on my way home from work, just thinking about things.. let my mind drift away and the next thing I know there is a huge bang and the air bags exploded in my face. So angry at myself. don't even know what to say. fugging asian girl drivers right..

so the owner of the parked getz was pretty upset. yes it was parked. (WHO CRASHES INTO A PARKED CAR!!?!?!) ..didn't say anything to me, just kept oh my goshing. But her neighbours were so kind to me.. just hugged me while i cried.

No i didn't whip out my camera to take photos for my blog. But zhen thought it was cool, he's looking forward to a new car-_-

...i know it sounds cliche, but after things like this happen it really gets you thinking about shit. Everything. like seriously everything :\ questions pop up, the thought that troubled me the most was what would happen if that were a person I hit.. instead of a car. what about if I had passengers in the car with me? how would I ever be able to live with myself knowing that I killed someone? or what about.. if I had died? if the airbags didn't come out? ifjawliegawiegu just scares me. I never thought that I was scared of dying, my dad would always tell me you know, life is going to end, its inevitable. But I don't want to die :(

worst experience ever. but at the same time.. maybe I might appreciate the things I have, before they're gone.

Hmm.. so I'm alright, but still shocked? The first thing that ran through my head after I crashed was 'this isn't happening.' then as the fire engine and the ambulance came, all I wanted to do was to go home. I just..can't believe I could be this careless. Anywho lets not bring this up again LOL if you see me, just pretend this never happened.

So I don't know if you still read my blog or not.. but I wish you were here to hug me..

on rainy days

I remember I used to have a proper diary all through highschool, and just wrote about everything. Like every aspect and how I was feeling. When I felt sad, I'd be all like '.......', when I cried I made the page wrinkle. When I got angry I scribbled so hard that pages would rip. Yes, I'm that aggressive. LOL

And if I were extremely happy, I'd draw all over the page and add in smiley faces every sentence. Haha I was just thinking, I'm obviously too emotional for you. ..unfortunately, what with final yr12 exams and other things, I stopped writing.

I miss having something to turn to no matter how I'm feeling.

Its getting harder to find people/places to properly vent and share true feelings with. Not that I don't talk to my friends about these kinds of things.. but there's always limit to how much you can say. I can't say how I reeaaaally feel. Having a blog, yeerh it does help to some extent but. There are certain things I can't talk about here. Really don't want to bother you people with noob stories of my life, my 'feelings' and you know, when and where I am feeling happy/sad/angry. Plus, there is the personal stuff that you shouldn't tell just anyone. Who knows what kind of people are reading this? YOU RIGHT THERE, don't judge me. hahah :)

SO thats what I was just thinking about..

parties like these

bring out the artieest in me.

Zhen and Peter going to a costume party tonight, dressing as something beginning with the letter 'M'. LOL if it were me, i'd totes go as a giant marshmallow :D

As you can see, I did Peter's awesome makeup. LOL did I say make up? yes he did wear lipstick and eyeliner ;) But ofcourse, what happens in my house stays in my house. And on this blog. bahaha. Suck to be him, I just forbid him to touch his face for a whole night, now he'll know what it feels like to be a cakeface xD

So.. it's a saturday night, got the car, Zhen and Peter just left, no one's at home.. a range of possibilities. Yet I'm still here just blogging away. Guess I could put some music on and dance around the house, just like the old days :D

Doll face

Been thinking about plastic surgery. NOT THAT I WANT TO GET IT, but I know of a couple close ones that do. And the other day I was just casually talking to my friend, he was telling me how people want him to cut his hair short, but he doesn't want to. So I was all like 'Don't cut it then, whats the point if its just going to make you unhappy?'

And he told me that people pressuring him makes him want to change himself, and thats why he got his nose job.

WAIT. what did he say? nose job? Yes, he said nose job.

In addition to that, he told me his dad hates him wearing glasses, and is forcing him to do laser eye surgery. What the shiz man. Why in the world would you do something so... cereal, just to please other people? I mean, the boy doesn't even WANT to change. It really got to me, how much someone would be willing to do just to be.. accepted?

But then again I guess it really is up to you.

I wonder..People that have plastic surgery, when others ask you whether you've had it or not, what do you say?

If you say that you did infact have that nose job, wouldn't people just judge you and think that you're fake? Even if it was just the nose, they'd wonder if everything else was fake too, and question how much of you is 'real'.

But if you went the other way and just lied about it..you'd have to continue lying, and people arn't stupid. There are ways to tell whether someone has had plastic surgery. So you'd just be seen as -that plastic chick who lies about it. Either way there are consequences right? I guess thats just the price you pay in this society. could you BE anymore judgemental?

Confuzzled

HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH. Funny funny, made my day :D

Anywho, you know something that really confuzzles me!? Those pretty girls that have no self esteem. Really I'm talking about those girls that look close to perfect, even with no makeup on. Just look beautiful without even trying, and furthermore have a beautiful heart. I'm not saying that they're perfect, cause no one is- but you know the girl.

Just cause of a boy. And now all they can think about is 'why did he break up with me?'

And then she wonders if it was because she wasn't pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not interesting enough. So she starts doubting herself, and pretty soon she starts to look down on herself.

WHY do you do this? I mean yeh, I don't know the full story, i'm not living your life. But how can you be so hung up, over a dude. Yes, you should let it all out, bitch about him for a couple weeks, cry your heart out- it feels good. But really, after months, and YEARS, how can you be crying still? :\ Its not worth it. Even if this dude was some sexy k-pop star, (gikwang :D) you could do so much better.