WOHC

Last day of clinic at the Whyalla Oral Health Centre tomorrow. Super pleased haha..
Even though I'll have to do my self-assessment and see what grade she has decided for me .. plus give my case presentation.. its the LAST DAY. Hahahah.
One more day of clinic and then we will be off to the Royal Flying Doctor Service. Plane rides for the win!
However, I did have a dream that the aircraft crashed. ..bad sign? Hmm..
Should be a great experience, hopefully I'll still have net when I get there so I can blog about it. Otherwise I'll just wait until I touch down in Port Augusta. Intrigued to see how it goes, and what kind of demographic we get to treat. Hoping there will be a few young ones to see! Mungerannie, I think the place is called. About an hour and a half plane ride from Port Augusta. Apparently a very remote area surrounded by desert.. Legit rural I guess! Pretty excited :)

5 weeks went by quickly, but I won't forget how much stress I felt throughout, and there were times where I had truly given up on myself. Picked my game back up by the end of it, hopefully its enough to get me through. And if not.. well, my tutors back in Adelaide love me so I'm sure I'll be fine. HAHA. Maybe. Fingers crossed :)

Week 4

I've never been more thankful for the last weeks to come rolling around. Don't think I've ever wished for something to be over so much! Haha.. Not even exams.

Still feeling the inadequacy, and still feeling like I might actually fudge it all up on my last year and that there's a long road ahead to prove myself. But hey, it's almost over.
I've been talking to many people about my situation and little by little I'm feeling more positive.
She still has a thing against me, I'm sure of it. But I can't walk into clinic with that approach every day, it doesn't achieve much and there is just a massive mental block that exists when I have that mindset. I do try to stay as positive as I can, but her truck of negativity does get me down still.
I'm just gonna have to work at it as best I can for the next 2 weeks.
Talked to my family but although they're a shoulder to lean on, they don't truly GET it. Sure they can provide me with reassurance and support but my dad will still think its an issue with my attitude towards the tutor. Which it really is not. I am nothing but respectful towards her in the clinic and I don't ever question her. And when my dad says things like that it just upsets me, because it goes to show that he really doesn't get it. However he does speak the blunt truth, and truth is that you're going to get shit bosses some time in your life, and unless you just learn to deal with it, you'll have a very difficult career ahead of you.

Talking to past students helped me alot, they know what its like, they've been through it before. And although they may not have been in as bad a situation as I, they understand how this tutor functions and how she makes people feel down on themselves. I got excellent words of advice from them. To not let her opinions dictate me and my concepts, and that I'm not as shit as I feel. I really shouldn't sell myself short. I'm good at what I do.

My older brother gets it. A few texts back to him and I feel better already. He's experienced the same thing many times, I can imagine being in a hospital intern setting would do terrible things to your self-esteem, constantly being looked down on and questioned by your superiors.. But he's learnt to put it aside and not let it get to him.
It's something I need to learn.

I've never had many issues in clinic, and I guess this has really taken me by surprise..
I'll just have to roll with it and prove to my other tutors back in Adelaide that her grade is not consistent with theirs.

Emotions fairly up and down lately. Hard time trying to control them.. The feeling of fragility is horrible.. But theres always an upside. The end is not far :) And who am I to complain. My problems are miniscule in comparison to other people. At least I'm alive, healthy and loved. Much to be thankful for.

Hope you guys are having a better 5 weeks than I am!

Having a little bit of a down moment right here people..
Eurgh. This feeling, I just can't seem to shake it.. Must be Whyalla.
It comes in waves. One moment I'm fine and just meh about everything, and then the next moment a huge wave of crap just washes over me and I'm left feeling so down. Like super down. The feeling like nothing is going right. Which is not true in the slightest, my life at the moment I couldn't be happier... Back in Adelaide that is. I love my life back in Adelaide.
I think that when I'm here away from home, I forget about how much love and support I have back there. And when I'm having a bad day or just dreading clinic with the frustrating tutor.. I forget that there is much more to life than trying to prove to the tutor that I'm not as incompetent as she thinks I am..

Just can't wait to get out of here.
I don't mind the place, I'm just not a fan of the tutor. She makes me feel like I can't do anything right, and just the way she has exaggerated small mistakes I've made, just takes away my confidence in my work and clinical skills.
I just can't seem to do things right after she's done bashing me mentally. It's a struggle to keep my chin up at times.

Worst feeling, feeling incompetent at something you once thought you were pretty good at.
Usually after a bad clinic experience or just after a super long day I always have people at home to make me forget it, cheer me up and then I smile again.. But over here I come home to an empty bedroom, just feeling alone. So dramatic. As usual..
I call home and call Simon but.. phone calls can't ever beat reassurance through hugs and cuddles hey?
And after the shitty day the last thing I want to do is go through the whole ordeal in my head again while explaining through the phone.

....3 more weeks. Wish me goodluck because I'll need it.

Rural feels.

Forgot to mention, got my braces off about a month ago. It's been pretty great. Still have to wear the retainer for the upper arch pretty much all day and night, because it has a false tooth incorporated into the plastic retainer as a temporary gap-filler haha.. You can't tell when I'm wearing it though, that I have a fake tooth, which I'm super grateful for :) 

Third one from the middle, on my left side. 

Going to wait until I get back from Whyalla to make the appointment for implant placement though, don't really want to rush anything at the time being.

Pretty happy with the result. Although, it could have been avoided all together if the dentist had detected the issue earlier.

So my first week in Whyalla wasn't all sunshine and sparkles. Pretty drab and dull actually. So much so that I'm already back in Adelaide. Haha.. weak i know. But we had Thursday and Friday off clinic though, so I don't rekon there would be much to do had we stayed back. All four of us wanted to go back. Early sleep before 12 has been doing wonders for me though. I can actually hear my alarm in the mornings, and sometimes I wake up before the alarm goes off anyways. Crazy. HAhaha.. Like normal people do. But anywho. Maybe I should sleep earlier more often.

My tutor is .. hard to understand, I don't really know what she wants. Very inconsistent in her expectations. Sometimes shes happy sometimes she picks on every little thing.. It's weird. Hard to get my head around, but yeah.. I'll suck it up and deal with it. What else can I do? Haha.. 

Shes pretty much the reason why I don't want to be in Whyalla. But maybe I'll get used to it. Who knows ..

Finish clinic, make dinner, watch TV whilst studying at the same time, and go to sleep. Pretty much our daily routine. Once went down to the beach and drove around town.. but thats about all there is to do in Whyalla. :P

Plus Pokemon Monopoly! LOL. Finally, for the first time ever owned the 'Mayfair/ParkLane' of Pokemon, Nidoking and Nidoqueen. From there on.. well ofcourse I won ;) Whut whut in the butt.

THAT bored, that we played monopoly..

Until the next week in Whyalla, people :)

Counting down the days.

5 weeks.

Five weeks of rural placement in Whyalla. Doesn't sound like much but.. I'm already counting down the days until its time to go back! Haha.. Enjoying the free time though. With no badminton to play or family to spend time with, there sure is alot of time to waste. It's only 8pm, I've already had dinner, showered, watched abit of Game of Thrones, went grocery shopping, and organized my new temporary bedroom. ..And now wondering what to do next..

Starting the rotation tomorrow, errday 8:30am, not too bad considering the clinic is only about 5 minutes walk from the accommodation.

Thinking of how I'm going to spend my time. I'm hoping it will encourage me to study more... LOL Yeah, right.

Probably try to blog abit more frequently, seeing as my blogs have been suuuuper delayed and uneventful. ahah..

Outside looks pretty Salisbury-esque, so my plan to go running around the neighbourhood is in shambles. Maybe try to do some in-room starjumps.. 

Already missing Simon.Time goes by incredibly fast when I'm with him, and without him its just like tick...tock........tick.............tock.

How lameeeeee. Can't wait til he comes to visit :'D

Definitely heading back to Adelaide for the first dent pubcrawl of the year though, super keen. Long time no pubcrawl and I'm really missing the dance vibes.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, by the way. Couldn't spend the day with my mum today since we had abit of a long drive to get here today, but woke up early to prepare breakfast for mum :) Hope she felt the love. Pancakes with maple syrup, whipped cream, mangoes, peaches, pear, apple, banana, strawberries, blueberries and dark chocolate melted on top. Not all at once of course, but the options were there. 

All mothers go through so much.. and yet they still manage to keep their shit together and take care of you, be there for you regardless of the circumstance. 

Hope you all spoilt your mums today. :)

Final Year Dental Camp

My absolute last dental camp ever.. Obviously I had to go. Haha.. I'll miss this when its all over. The parties, the drink-ups, the ease of making friendships with the girl taking a leak in the next cubicle just cause I get lonely in there.

Dental camp has always been the best event of the year. Why wouldn't it be? No limits out there in the wild. Haha.. This time it was at Victor Harbour, and although it was a two day, two night event.. I only joined in on the second night.

I didn't want to miss out on Saturday's work shift.. and also didn't want to be away from Adelaide for two nights. .. I tend to miss people after a day. Absolutely PATHETIC I know! But hey, the honeymoon period is still going, and I'm not one to complain. :)

One thing I WILL complain about though, is the lack of fun-times this dental camp.

No, I don't think the issue is because I'm not single anymore. I can't put my finger on it, but it might have been something to do with the crappy organisation.. or because people weren't being ushered into the hall- instead they kinda just chilled out in their cabins or outside on the grass.. or maybe cause this year's 1st years are total buzz-kills.

Whatever the reason, I was super disappointed at the turn out. And even more-so because I kept telling my group of friends who hadn't been before that dental camp was the best thing on Earth.

Needless to say they were kind of confused when it turned out to be not close at all, even to the best thing in Victor Harbour. 

The dance floor was pretty dismal, half the time pretty much empty. I used to have trouble breathing due to the sheer amount of people on the dance floor. You used to only be able to move in the vertical axis, I kid you not. This time I could have run laps and maybe play badminton in all the free space. You can imagine now the level of sadness.

Still, I was really keen on dancing, cause after all what else did I come here for!?

So I pushed a few friends on the dance floor and it wasn't so bad really. I still got my dance on. Not that I can dance.. but you know, just me jumping around with my arms in the air, singing my face off. 

In the end I did enjoy myself, but just disappointed in how different camp has gotten since I had been there last. And my last one ever, too! :(

Was glad to be back in my bed the next day. That night I think I had one of the worst sleeps ever. In the driver's seat of someone else's car, with a super bright LED outdoor light shining in my face the whole night, waking up every so-often to open the door and vomit. Not my finest moments. It got to the point of vomiting pure bile, which isn't pleasant to say the least. My throat and mouth were left burning, my teeth felt chalky and the taste... it was like I just drank a bottle of petrol.

Tequila is not your friend.

After the third time waking up I prayed to buddha that morning would come. WHERE ARE YOU, SUN!?

So.. that was my fantastic experience. Haha.. Making an effort to go to all the events this year. After all its my last chance hey? No regrets ;)

Picture time.

OMG TOTALLY FORGOT, I actually re-united with my best-friend Jishnu back in Reception/Year1.. HAHA was the best feels cause he was super excite when he realised who I was as well. Knew my name still!! Best feels because I used to be the biggest loner in primary school. Only had like 1 or 2 friends.. and yea, he was it. LOL. Man, who knew. He's 2 years below me though because I skipped Year 7 and then he did a year of something else after Highschool. Super coincidences :) So awesome. ANYWHO. I'm out. :D

Train of thought

Hey Pooper scoopers, how you doing?
I've got a little over a week left of holidays til I go back to uni. I'm actually itching to go back and see my patients again. As difficult as some of them may be, I miss the feeling of achieving things, whether its a good amalgam filling or a nice alginate impression. The feeling of improvement always makes me happy. I'm definitely going to be rusty when I get back into the clinics though.

Started playing badminton more and more these past few weeks. Just feel so fat and floppy if I'm not playing often. My back and neck pains are taking a toll on me though, I wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy. LOL joke. sorry so lame. But really, when I wake up I feel like I've been hit by an elephant. My neck is always so sore. Am I really getting old? D: Will see how it goes during normal clinic days, I'm kind of dreading it. What am I going to do if its unbearably painful?
Shall see a physio soon to make sure I'm all in check.

Simon is off to Coober Pedy AGAIN for work tomorrow, he'll be gone for about three days. Ofcourse I feel sad that I don't get to see him for three days- who else is going to annoy me with their quirks and all the wonderfully lame jokes- but then I compare it to Zhen, who has to go without seeing his other half for MONTHS at a time. Months. Wow. A huge thumbs up to my dear brother and his girlfriend in Malaysia.
I've always told myself that I would never do long distance, and that statement still holds true. Maybe its a girl thing, but I don't think I could handle not seeing each other for such long periods at a time. It would absolutely kill me. I need the physical and emotional support, the hugs after work when I'm feeling like ass.. being able to call him when I need to, whether its to talk, to rage about the ass-wipe at work, or to pick me up when I don't feel like taking the bus when its 40 degrees out. Man, I sound like a princess.
Far from it Ladies and Gentlemen, if anything, I'm a dude. People constantly tell me that I act like a guy, and I don't mind it one bit. I like being who I am, doing what I like to do, sitting with my legs up on the chair. Haha.. The guys at work always love it when I'm working, cause they know that they can get things done fast when I'm around. Other girls shy away from the labour but I always offer to do it for them. Carrying the heavy boxes, mixing cans and cans of tuna, cutting all the vegetables for the next 4 days. Man. it gets so tiring I have to admit. But I kind of enjoy it. Having something to do while Simon is busy at work makes the day go by super fast! Then we get to hang out all over again.
Anywho, super off topic arn't I. The way my mind works sometimes..
The point is...
What was the point..? HAHA.
The point is that.. I'm gonna miss him, Long distance is crabsticks and I'm a dude. Yup. That sums it up pretty well, don't you think? :)

Enjoy the rest of your holidays errbody!