Having a little bit of a down moment right here people..
Eurgh. This feeling, I just can't seem to shake it.. Must be Whyalla.
It comes in waves. One moment I'm fine and just meh about everything, and then the next moment a huge wave of crap just washes over me and I'm left feeling so down. Like super down. The feeling like nothing is going right. Which is not true in the slightest, my life at the moment I couldn't be happier... Back in Adelaide that is. I love my life back in Adelaide.
I think that when I'm here away from home, I forget about how much love and support I have back there. And when I'm having a bad day or just dreading clinic with the frustrating tutor.. I forget that there is much more to life than trying to prove to the tutor that I'm not as incompetent as she thinks I am..
Just can't wait to get out of here.
I don't mind the place, I'm just not a fan of the tutor. She makes me feel like I can't do anything right, and just the way she has exaggerated small mistakes I've made, just takes away my confidence in my work and clinical skills.
I just can't seem to do things right after she's done bashing me mentally. It's a struggle to keep my chin up at times.
Worst feeling, feeling incompetent at something you once thought you were pretty good at.
Usually after a bad clinic experience or just after a super long day I always have people at home to make me forget it, cheer me up and then I smile again.. But over here I come home to an empty bedroom, just feeling alone. So dramatic. As usual..
I call home and call Simon but.. phone calls can't ever beat reassurance through hugs and cuddles hey?
And after the shitty day the last thing I want to do is go through the whole ordeal in my head again while explaining through the phone.
....3 more weeks. Wish me goodluck because I'll need it.