The End

It's 4AM and I can't sleep. I stayed up in hopes of getting alot of study done. What do I end up doing? Stalk people on facebook to the early hours. Read blogs and blogs of crap that I don't need to know about. Go through deleting things on my phone that I no longer need.

So one of my closest friends recently broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years. Why? On going problems that kept resurfacing. Differences in values. Issues with personalities, interests, compatibility. 

Moreover, they didn't share the same want for that relationship.

He made so many good points. The kind of logic that can only come from experience. And I wish I had more of that kind of logic.
How can a relationship work without both people wanting the same thing?

If one decides that it's finally time to give up, that the relationship is at its end.. Is there really any use of the other to try and convince them otherwise? What does that achieve? One person becomes reliant on the other for their happiness, whilst the other is suppressing their feelings, their personality and ultimately changing themselves to suit their partner. 

Once one person decides its time to end it, the other must respect their decision and accept. Accept, and move on. Is there any use of dwelling in the past?
Sure, the past may have been good for them, and yes there are some couples that are able to recuperate after a break up, correct what was going wrong and continue making each other happy. But once you break up with someone, is it ever going to be the same again? 

I guess its always a given- Couples break up for a reason, and that reason must have been a damn good one if it has caused two people to cut their losses and run. 

After all this, I feel like I need to make the same rule as he has.

No relapse after a break-up. No matter who it is, once its over, its over.

Sure, change is inevitable, is good and can benefit a relationship. But just how MUCH change is needed? In good relationships you find someone that can accept you for who you are and love you as you are. You are each other's best friend. Change happens over time, learning from mistakes and whatnot, but if you're at the point where you feel like you've become a whole different person, there could be underlying problems.

And then, how long will you be able to keep up this ruse? One day it might hit you hard that you've stopped being yourself, doing things that you enjoy, hanging out with people you actually like. All for this one person. -How much pressure are you putting on that other person then? It becomes the issue of "I've sacrificed so much for you, now what have you done for me?"-

I for one cannot deal with that kind of pressure.

Man, life and love are things that are sometimes going to make you feel like you've been hit by a truck. After you've been hit, spend some time alone, cry it all out. Then we have to learn to just pick yourself up, do things that make you be a better person, and further down the track, look for the next Romeo/Juliet. And maybe pick up a few tips for relationships on the way.

No reason to stop trying just because you've been hurt. What is life without abit of adventure and experience?

How else do people learn in this world? :)

I sure have learnt alot. 

Accepting

If you've ever been liked by someone that for whatever reason you just can't return the same feelings for.. you probably know what I'm feeling.
Its the part where you know that person has stopped liking you, and you feel.. sad. jealous even. or maybe think to yourself 'Why don't they like me anymore?'
I find it so weird, and selfish of me to think this, but I do. I can't help it! Its not exactly as if I had any intention of letting him become anything more than what we were. But the minute I get the feeling they're letting go, I feel like I've lost something.
Super selfish, I know. Super stupid too.
Guess its one of those things where you don't truly realise how good they were to you until they're walking away.

Exams in less than three weeks. Scared? Ofcourse I am.
Never ever want to see a Borderline ever again.

Gee cee 2013

Uni games round #2? I think so! What can I say, more badminton, more exercise, more socializing, more team bonding, more partying. Alot more partying.

I would LIKE to think that I don't succumb to peer pressure and partying but it has happened. How not to when you're room mates with the craziest party animals? hahah oh laura. oh kathleen.

But then again, unigames is not about the badminton. It's about the late nights, the 'never have I ever' games, the over-loading of alcohol, before having to get up the next day at 7am and drag yourself through a singles match without chucking.

Not proud of it but if you don't go crazy at the gold coast, where will you ever? #yolo. 

.. that was gay. LOL no yolo.

GC was definitely not about the badminton, especially cause I rolled my ankle on the third day. Abit of a bummer, but hey, atleast Laura had a super fun time stepping up to #1. LOL poor child.

The last night was definitely the craziest. Did a few things that I don't think I'll ever repeat again. Regret? Maybe. But no one will ever know right? What happens at unigames stays there right? lol. 

When not at a baddy game, we spent our days chilling at the beach, walking around the shops and taking team naps at the apartment. The apartment? Amazing. 17 floors up with a huge balcony facing the beach. Sitting out there watching the waves while eating breakfast and drinking coffee.. it's the reason I was able to get up at all in the mornings. haha. Going to miss that balcony :') And at night, sitting there watching the lights.. truely calming. Except when you start to hear drunken yells from below. Then its time to head back inside and drink more. HAHA just kidding.

The famous Beach front markets were really awesome. They had some really interesting stuff, even like a little roasted frog that they made into a keychain.. wtf. haha but I enjoyed myself there so much that I went twice. There was one bracelet that I really wanted, but decided on giving it to a friend. Even though he didn't particularly like it, didn't even say thanks and totally forgot I even got him a present. all that appreciation.

I thought what a waste, so I took it back. He didn't even notice. Thats gotta hit you in the heart like a bullet train..
On the more positive side, atleast I have a souvenir that I like from goldcoast.

So.. Sydney Unigames 2014? 

Super keen.

..^and that was only half way through the week. Liver damage? Fo sho.

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just be happy with what I already have.
But then if we were all so content with our lives, where would the strive for improvement be? Where would the motivation to better ourselves come from?
Sometimes I feel that I'm just focusing on the wrong things right now.
On work when it should be on studies
On boys when it should be on friends
On badminton when it should be on family

The balance is kind of off right now, and I'm completely aware of that..
I think its time I made better choices and rearrange my priorities

ch-ch-ch-ch-check ittttt trololol.

Badminton semi-finals and finals today, wish me luck :') i'm excited. its a kind of excitement that only badminton can give me.

Give it time

Losing something or someone that was once a big part of your life..
I gotta tell you, big disclaimer, it sucks a fair bit. It sucks alot. Suddenly everything seems so much more miserable.
Sure, life goes on.. eventually. Things go back to normal
But everyone needs time to be upset, get it out of their system, get distracted, get angry, rage, cry and just sleep it off. Its time for me to do just that.
One moment I thought I could be okay. Next moment .. its not okay at all.
You can't expect everything to be fine straight away. Ofcourse not. It won't be.
But the most important thing I feel is what my dad always says,
"Your life can't just stand still because of one person. Whats the point? So what if you lose them. Is that the end of your world? You have to keep going, whether you like it or not."

I guess you could let the situation break you down and let it make your life into one hell of a mess.. or you could try to be strong, chin up, smile, and keep doing what you need to do.
I'm sure they don't want to see me cry. *strong face*

I don't ever want to feel this way again.

Too much love

Hi there.

I'm sitting at my desk right now with all these articles infront of me just WAITING for me to read. Totes excited. Not really. Please shoot me in the foot right now.

It's 3AM and I attempted a nap about an hour ago. Ofcourse, the only time I really need a power nap I can't manage to fall asleep. Ofcourse. Oh wow. The word "Ofcourse" is apparently a spell-check error. Squiggly line popped up and now my writing is ruined. RUINED I TELL YOU. Maybe its Of-course. or Of course. Wow. mind = blown.
It MUST be too late to blog.

I'd like to wish my dad a very happy Father's day today. Got him a couple shirts.. hope he likes them.
Thankyou Dad for being you. For being born into this world so that I could also be born. LOL, but no seriously. I'm thankful for you being such a wonderful person. Strict when you need to be, but hilarious when I need you to be. All your lame jokes have finally rubbed off on me. No amount of presents, money or words could tell how much you've done for us. Of-course, you won't be reading my blog so I will need to write all this down in a card. LOL. jeebus I'm so tired right now you cannot imagine. Two more assignments and a test to study for. This is going to be a busy week. Anyway back to the topic of my dad, I LOVE HIM ♥ More than pancakes with maple syrup and vanilla icecream topped with chocolate sauce and maybe some of those little crushed up peanuts as well.

HBD

So I'm 20 now, as you might already know. For some reason feeling extremely old. Like time is running out already. But how can it be? Our lives have only just begun. Time to do the things we've always wanted to, if we haven't yet.

It was a nice birthday this year, nothing too fancy. I'm not one to organise things, just because I'm so bad at it. I'm glad other people organised little get-togethers for me :)
To my best friend Rosemay♥, my dental girls Shan-shan and viv, my other dental kids, my baddy friends, my boss and most importantly my family.. Thanks for the gifts, wishes and surprises.
Got to make four different wishes this year. And funnily enough, I made the same wishes for all of them. Now four times more likely to come true ;)

Admittedly, there were a couple nights during my birthday week that I was feeling miserably down. It was one of those sadnesses where you just can't pinpoint the exact reason for the frown. It just happens. Then other things happen that just add fuel to the fire and make you feel even worse than before. It was really frustrating to be honest.. wanting to be nothing but happy.. but something holding you back.

I'm just grateful that there were people that realized what I was feeling and tried to cheer me up.
And now I'm back to normal ;) are you cereal? I'M SO CEREAL. Like cocopuffs and cheeriossssss.

♥

 Lunchtime frog cupcake. Sweetness overload

HANDMADE snorlax. I mean, Junlax. LOL jeebus. crazy. crazy awesome.

I obviously have too much Patrick stuff now. People know me. haha.

Uber unexpected Pandora bracelet...

Epic Wasai Birthday dinner; Weihan was kitchen hand that night! Made my dinner extra special ;)

Birthday Cocolat from the boss ;D

"Surprise" party from baddy crew

Ju yok. They obviously can't spell LOL. oink.

Happy Birthday to me.

And then BAM!!! I got a haircut. LOL. if you haven't seen already.. Mega change.

And finally, Birthday dinner with the coolest dumpling kids.

 ♥

I can only hope my life will be full of awesome friends forever. #cornyshieet

That is all.