I got a pocket full'a sunshine

People, I just have to put it out there and whinge, the past two weeks have been terribad.

Theres just so much to do for uni. I can barely keep my eyes open throughout the day and sometimes I need to sleep so badly that I feel like I could just cry. But I don't ofcourse, cause tears of champions are expensive. Could sell my tears for a kabajillion dollars.

Being the supergirl I am, I've tried my best to make time for the other equally important things in my life, you know the drill- friends, family, gym, badminton. I make commitments that I can barely keep, and carry them out so halfheartedly sometimes. I think thats why I'm so burnt out when its only been 2 weeks in. Theres just not enough time. Although these things are important to me, I should be focusing on my studies for now. For myself.

Its not like I'm doing badly in my course or anything, I just don't have the energy to be myself anymore. I'm like a zombie most of the time. To date this week, four different people in my class have stopped what they were about to say to me to ask if I was ok and to ask why I looked so sad. Sad is not the word. Dead is the word. LOL maybe this is the reason girls wear makeup. To cover up the dead look.

There comes a time when you realise these things and just need to knuckle down and work harder. If I can work harder, I'll have more time for other things, and more importantly, more time for SLEEP.

There also comes a time when I realise that I need to stop reading the timetable wrong. JEEBUS, Do you even Uni!? *shakes head* How many more times can this possibly happen, tard!? It's not that hard to read a timetable. And it shouldn't be this hard to be a good uni kid. 

Anywhoop after another week of pre-clin, I finally got to have a catch-up dinner/dessert date with my dent girlfriends Shannon and Viv. Star of Siam, Summers eve Friday markets and Chocolate Bean. The things we got to talking about, you can't imagine. 

I'm just so happy its Friday :)

PLUS, new eps of Big Bang Theory and Suits. Chaaaching! Life is good for the rest of tonight.

 

Love is easy

Whelp, I guess its blog-o'clock. First day back at uni tomorrow, 8am start, yes sir! Kind of dreading it.. but then again when has uni EVER been fun? haha sadness.
No more rolling around the house like a potato, doing nothing.
Do I wish I had done more with my holidays? Ofcourse I do. But too late now, that time has passed by, and might I say passed by so gosh-damn fast!? It's like I don't even remember what happened. Then I stumbled upon a folder on my desktop with all these photos of me in Malaysia and think to myself 'Thats right, we went there this holidays.'
All seems kind of wasted.

Oldest brother came back for a few more days after going to Taiwan, Japan and Malaysia- what a holiday. Came back home with pre-wedding photos, as well as my bridesmaid dress and shoes. Firstly I'd like to say CONGRATS brother, its finally happening. After 11 years of dating, you've finally locked her down for LIFE. LOL. No escaping now.. you sure you want to go through with this? HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT PROPERLY ZHEN TI!? HAHA I'm just kidding.
And that brings us to the reason for this cheesy title of this blogpost.

No couple could be more perfect. If I believed in the theory that everyone on this earth has a Soul-mate, you two would be it. And Although they probably put ALOT of effort and hardwork into making things work, they really do make being in love look easy. Jeebus!

Funny story though, I got my bridesmaid dress, tried it on and what do you know, ofcourse it doesn't fit. Hard to find dresses to fit Fudgy the Whale.
Haha. I blame asian sizing, and that lady in Taiwan who assured that a girl with my measurements could fit an M. Such lies I tell you.
From the photo it looks like it sort of fits, but then the back would not be able to be zipped up even if I lost another 5-10kg. Why? Cause my manly shoulders ofcourse. Always the shoulders. And I don't even know how to swim! HAHA.
SO I don't know exactly what they're going to do, either try to alter it, or order another size up. But nyea.. thats the thing about ordering online. I don't like to shop clothes online even now, let alone for a wedding!
I'm still not sure how I feel about the dress and how it looks. Another thing about online shopping, it can look so different from the picture. I feel like the flower-petal things at the bottom of the dress are abit of a distraction and would have been nicer just plain. But then again its not MY wedding, and as long as the bride and groom are happy, who cares what I'm wearing?

The shoes are awesome. Lucky I JUST fit the largest size they had. Bigfoot ftw. You know what they say about big feet .. wheeey.


My eyes are feeling really heaving at this point in time, so I guess its my cue to leave. Have a great day tomorrow, whatever you're doing.

Wooopdeedoo

Has anyone ever said to you that "You're not worth it?"
What is IT, when they say that?
Not worth the time, money, effort, patience, energy-?
Well today someone told me that I wasn't worth it. Not worth whatever they had to offer me.
I think if I received that kind of negativity this time last year, I would have taken offence and be so disheartened that someone would ever say such a thing about me.
This year? I don't know. It didn't affect me. Now maybe because of everything that's happened to me since then, my emotion switch has been turned off, or maybe I just don't care anymore.
People are allowed to think what they want, ofcourse they are.
All I thought when they told me I wasn't worth it was- You have the right to decide who or what is worth your time and energy. It's not MY problem.
In a way I feel like a more confident person, someone not so reliant on people's opinions and acceptance of me. They're the ones who are at loss, I'm totes worth it. ;D
I remember last year one girl openly telling people she disliked me, and I got extreeemely upset over it, even though she was almost nothing to me. Just some random girl in my year. She didn't even know me at all. What for? I was the only one freaking out about it, and while that was happening she was probably at home, kicking back and chilling with her tall glass of tea, cause thats what all the classy people do these days!
Not everyone is going to like you for you, and thats when you have to realize, that to you- THEY are not worth it.

What else is the matter these days?
Been exercising alot lately- hiking, badminton, gym, running.. And I really like it! It is the cheese to my toastie. The icecream to my cone. The ferrero to my rocher. LOL. But really I almost don't feel like I'm actively TRYING to exercise more, I guess I'm just lucky that I enjoy these things, plus alot of my friends are really into hiking and badminton.
Its just like how they say that if you choose a career in something that you enjoy, you'll never have to work a day in your life. Ofcourse I won't be choosing fitness as a career, but its good that I don't have to make exercise like a chore to be healthy or anything. Sho good! Endorphins for the epic win.

Fool

Why do I feel like I always have to make the effort.

If I didn't, would we even see each other at all?

I doubt it.

Cheerios

Bring on being almost 20.

Guys just for your information I have a pimple on my cheek so big that I don't even need a mirror to see it. I can see it just by looking down. Its right there looking back up at me. I bet its laughing at me.

Last post of the year I suppose!
What did I do today, on the last day of the year, you say?
Spent time with people I love ofcourse, as cheesy as it might be.

Cliche Yes, but the year really has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was an eventful year, but I almost don't remember what happened, and no I was not drunk the whole time. haha. I guess its just lucky I keep a blog to remind myself of this years events, and one day when its 2025 and I'm 32, I'll want to remember everything that happened, the good, and the not so good.
2012 was a big year, I remember being at my all time low, but also at one point feeling on top of the world. All in the same year? I think that's quuite an achievement, ladies and gentlemen! Seems like only yesterday I was freaking out about it being 2012, making my new years resolutions on the plane from KL to Adelaide.

I think its great that people make new years resolutions, you know, to try and make themselves a better person, get fit, lose 5kgs, eat well, stop drinking etc etc.. But then I think, why do I wait til new years to make these goals? It just sets me up for more-than-likely disappointment if I bomb out a couple months into the new year. Then I'll say to myself- thats ok, I'll just try again.. NEXT YEAR. I would know. I do it every year. haha sheit. So I guess what I should be doing is making small goals all the time, instead of just making one big new years resolution list.

All I can say for the coming 2013 is..
I will learn to put myself and my studies first (cause I'm worth it, thank you L'Oreal)
I will try not to be such a pushover
Peanut butter will not be eaten straight from the jar anymore

I think these goals are fairly reasonable... right? Small goals. But still goals nonetheless. And I will continue making goals as the year progresses. Happy face.

What about you people, what goals do you want to achieve?
Aaaanyways have a great New years eve.
DON'T PARTY TOO HARD
DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE
DON'T WALK INTO DARK ALLEYS ALONE
DON'T GET RAPED
DON'T BE A TARD.
Happy new year everyone.

Tis the Season.

I'm in a room full of people.

..Yet I've never felt so alone.

Maybe I wanted to be excited for Christmas so badly and was sad that I wasn't excited.

Maybe I had too many expectations, only to be disappointed. 

I really don't know where all these feelings stemmed from but, I sure hope you're having a better Christmas than I am.

Right now I feel like I'm being the biggest Grinch, the most ungrateful person and oh, so alone. 

Merry Christmas ♥.

Oodles of noodles

ALRIGHTY, finally getting out of Adelaide and off to Malaysia in the early morning. I'm excited. Are you excited? Ofcourse you are. Haha.. was getting quite bored here!
So whats been happening you say?
I passed my exams, even got a Credit, which was unheard of until now LOL. Big achievement, me thinks. Cannot describe how happy I was when I got my results back. All smiles and I ran into my room to punch my brother with punches of happiness. haha
ONWARDS, to third year, just a couple more to go now.. Gotta keep crack-a-lackin' and keep working hard. Want to finish ASAP and then I can do whatever I want. Just frolic in the woods, dance with the 7 dwarfs and find a prince. Can't wait ;)

In about 4 hours I'll be up again to take a plane to Melbourne then transit to KL. Gosh, I just want to have that feeling of being on a plane again. I miss it so.
Its gonna be funzies- only about 2 weeks, but I think thats enough for me. I'm not so much of a traveller, especially if its staying in one area for too long. I get bored so easily.

Anywho ladies and gents, I'd write more but I'm feeling pretty tired right now. LOL thats all I ever seem to be doing nowadays. Just walking around my house, taking naps everywhere.
Update you kids in Malaysia!
Give yourself a pat on the back
TOODLES!