D for dramatic

Hi people. How are you all tonight? It's a Saturday night. You'd think at 20 years old on a Saturday night I'd be out fist pumping and shaking ma boo-tay but no. As much as I'd like to.. haha.

Been busy preparing myself to MC an event tomorrow, its one of those charity volunteer work things, where we promote the organisation for more people to join. Its loosely based around Buddhism and their ways of teaching. And when I mean loosely I pretty much don't mean loosely. trolol. Since when has anything to do with religion been loose?

I feel like it doesn't matter what religion you believe in- or don't believe at all, as long as you're able to develop some good morals from it, who cares? 

Anywho, so THATS happening tomorrow.. Sadness, miss out on a badminton tournament. :( Why did I agree to this!? It was most definitely a #yolo/wanting-to-please-my-parents moment.

I'm going to be honest,

right now I'm feeling quite vulnerable. Maybe I'm about it hit that time of the month, but I'm definitely feeling it. LOL.

Have you ever felt vulnerable? I'm sure you have. I'm sure everyone has. Whether its not wanting to be shot down for giving your opinions.. or maybe waiting for results of your job interview..or maybe its more along the lines of not wanting your heart to be broken.

Whatever the reason, being vulnerable sure sucks a big one. On one hand I feel like its a good thing cause if you feel this way, it means that this Thing you're feeling a little fragile over- actually means alot to you. You actually care THAT MUCH about something/someone to feel this way about this/that/him/her.

But then on the other hand.. everything becomes tougher to deal with, you get hurt more easily by things that usually wouldn't even cross your mind.

Putting all your effort into that one thing and just always thinking the worse when it comes to the outcome. But why? It doesn't always have to be a bad outcome. Our minds just habitually go into overdrive and start to think things way way wayyyy too indepth. Why do we do this?

Later on just realising it was all in our heads and that we worried about nothing.

Well girls and boys, thats what vulnerability does to people. The fear of being hurt, keeps us from being actually happy.

I guess I've just been feeling super vulnerable is all! Don't even know how to deal. WHAT IS THIS.