Jello

Guys, I gotta be honest with you- haven't been in the best mental state these days. Emotionally, that is.
I don't know when I became this way.. So easily irritated, easily annoyed- one comment can just set me off. It's exhausting.
Its gotten to the point where I'm annoyed at myself for being so upset all the time. I ask myself 'Why are you upset?', and I can barely answer my own question.
No people, its not PMS. Like I always say, people CAN be mad and NOT be PMS'ing. They're called feelings. If you know me, you'll probably be aware of how much it ticks me off when people just assume a girl is on their PMS if they're even the slightest bit irritated. Sure, its a possibility, but its highly insensitive to just dismiss a girl's emotions, and attribute the feelings to PMS. Maybe she's ACTUALLY mad at you, cause you were being a dumbass.
There are so many better things I could be doing, but I choose to sulk and be a knob. Even the last time I played badminton, I shocked myself at how mad I was getting at myself. Every shot I messed up, every smash that went into the net, every time my footwork failed me. I'm usually quite a level-headed person, especially in badminton.
Lately, I don't know.

Need to learn not to be so sensitive. Not to over think things. Not to make up stupid scenarios in my head. Not to take things to heart.

Need to have more confidence in myself.

Soppy stuff

Hey there everybody.
Had the urge to blog today. Could be the copious amounts of coffee I've had today, could be the lack of sleep driving me insane. Could be that I have an exam/test tomorrow and I'm still trying to finish off my notes. Every. Single. Time.
I tell myself to be more prepared, but we know its not going to happen. Somewhere between badminton, friendships, relationships, uni, Modern Family and procrastination, I'm supposed to find time to write up notes!? What is life!? haha
Dad is pestering me to be a better student, using the whole- "You know how it is, people get into relationships then fail the year.." FUUU
Dad, If I fail the year, its because I'm not smart enough. Not because I'm in a relationship.
Past years have told me that although I may not have been the most prepared, I always push myself to get the work done in time. So its not a matter of how much hardwork I put in- because I always put in approximately the same amount of effort into my work, but how well I've grasped the concepts of the topics I've been studying.
Bottom line- If i fail, its my own fault. And I will be responsible for my own slip ups and exam mistakes. Why you blame duh boyf? luls.
If anything he makes me study more. Not like in previous relationships where I'd be sacrificing study time for fun time. If onnnnly dad knew.

Simons gone off to Coober Pedy today for work. Won't be back for 5 days.
5 days. What is 5 days really? Just 120 hours, just 7200 minutes, just 432 000 seconds, Jun.
I'm at that point in the relationship where I don't want to be away from him for even one day. Two days is pushing it. Three days I'm about to crack. By five days I would have cracked like Humpty Dumpty and my egg yolk heart will be splat on the floor. And if its a hot day it would have started cooking within a couple hours. Then the magpies and ants come and eat my soul. My soul goes to heaven but then gets rejected cause I wasn't from a Free-range chicken.
IS THAT HOW YOU WANT ME TO END UP, SIMON!? LOL
Woman, what crack are you on.
Anywho, being serious now, I'm glad I've found someone that I will miss if I don't see for a even a day. Even half a day. It's not often you find someone you're comfortable with, in doing everything.
Farting, pooping, skid marks, ingrown toenails, bears-in-the-cave, messy hair, hobo clothes and all.
Sorry, I'm grossing you out. I'll stop. I promise. haha
Unhealthy relationship you say? Seeing each other every day?
I used to say a definite yes. Yes, it is unhealthy, couples arn't supposed to be joined at the hip, to be considered one Unit, to be so engrossed in each others lives. Based on past experience, you should see them maximum 3 times a week. Absolute maximum.
But hey, my views have completely changed. And yes, it may still be a little bit of an 'Unhealthy' relationship, but if you don't feel this way about someone, sometime in the prime of your youth.. then when will you ever?
Never thought I could handle being around someone so often. But its happened. Oh goodness. Sure he annoys the crap out of me some times, but thats nothing an elbow to the face can't solve. :D
I shall stop talking your ears off with boring relationship stuff.

Promise I'll give you a few months break. Hahaha Just happy is all :)

Take me to the show!

Late post but better late than never. Always look forward to posting about good days. So I can remember the feels! And one day I'll look back on these good posts and reminisce.

Was super good weather for the show- first time going to the show alone with the boyfriend. 

Love that he's up for anything if its with me. And even though this was the billionth time going, it was different because it was with him. Cheese to the max. Eurgh. But this is who I am now. ahahhaha. Ultra cheese, super love, uber couple.
People keep telling me how happy they are for me, how I look so much happier than I used to. And I would agree, one hundred thousand percent :)

We spent the whole day walking around, looking at every single stall, tasting everything there is to taste- Yellow-brick road bag LOL yea, we did it. Haunted house ride, and '9D' experience. Heads up for next year, please don't go on either of them. We were thoroughly disappointed, and both times walked out dafarking at how much we just paid for nothing. hahah but no matter. Atleast we tried. YOLO ROITE!? HAHA..
Following that, Ferris wheel fun times, showbags and fireworks. ♥

No one else I'd rather spend the whole day with. LITERALLY the whole day. 9am - 10pm. Exhausted by the end, definitely.

Aaaand now to get on with exam study, hooray for my one week mid-semester break lolol. Enjoy your off time, people!

Bad day

I'm glad dear Daniel Powter made the song Bad Day a good one. Such good feels. Reminds me that my problems really arn't that bad, and that by tomorrow it probably won't even matter anymore. I instantly start singing the song in my head when I see the words bad day. Or when I'm having one.
Which was like today.
This morning rather..
Just when I feel like I'm improving and getting on the tutors good side, I go and eff it all up.
Why was I so slow today? Why did I have so many problems doing the most simple things!?
I always think to myself "The odds must have been against me", whenever I have a bad clinic session.
WHAT ODDS, JUN!?
Again, making excuses for my slip ups, for my lack of time management, for my lapse in judgement.

Bad days are good.
They kick me in the face and tell me to wake up a little bit more each time. ahhhh.

I can't even explain how stressed out I was this morning.
I started off so positively, thinking only good thoughts, planning out every little thing I was going to do..
The instant one thing goes a little south, I do another thing that makes me think to myself - What. am. I. Doing.
And then its all downhill from there. Such a vicious cycle. Theres no coming back.
3hours later, I'm still sitting there trying to construct a temporary crown for the third.. fourth.. fifth time. Things just keep going wrong. This shit never happens in the lab.
I couldn't count the number of times I thought about just flipping the table and telling the tutor to screw off. For one, why must you constantly talk down on me infront of the patient? Definitely benefits zero people involved. I'm already about to blow and instead of flicking me a couple words of encouragement, why not just intense-stare me more and bombard me with questions?
I felt like crying exactly twice.
Thats two more than I have ever felt like crying in clinic ever.
I'm usually quite level headed in clinic. I rarely panic or lose my shit. But today, oh man. I don't even know.

To make things worse- no lunch, and rushed straight to emergency unit for the afternoon session. To see more patients. Yes.. I know. Whinge whinge whinge.
I wonder if this is what its going to be like in the future. I guess these things will happen.
What can you do?
Just take a couple deep breathes and tell yourself to get your shit together. New patient, fresh start. OK.

Enough with my rage about my day.. I just had to get it out there.
In other news..

The Show on Sunday :) The only thing thats getting me through this On-week. Eurgh.. Sunday come sooner.
Also my parents are leaving to holiday in 2weeks, YET AGAIN without me D: haha I don't so much mind anymore though. I have people here to take care of me. heh. Not that I can't take care of myself. But its nice to know theres someone to lean on when I need. A super good feeling. Like nebber before.

Time to get some shut eye. Glad the day is over. :D
Have a good day tomorrow, peeps :)) And remember. No matter how bad your day might be. Someone, somewhere in Clinic 1.2 fixed pros on Wednesdays will be having a worse day. lol.

Whale you be mine?

LAAAAAME.

haha.

Gym membership ran out about a week ago- A part of me was relieved.
That guilt that I felt each passing day that I didn't go.. No more of that! Hahah.. Why have a membership if you never go, Jun? tsk tsk.
Oh wells. Went to Sunday training yesterday and then this morning went for a run.. just because. Thankful for such chilled out Mondays. All Mondays should be like today. Wake up for morning run, eat some epic meal time, go shop for abit and run errands.. lectures at 2.. spend the night with my loved ones.. ;D more like loved one. Cause there be only one. Apart from family. But you know what I meannn.

Hopefully since the weathers getting better I can start running more often. Absolutely killed my legs though. Calves, thighs, butt.. everything.
Walking up the stairs is slow. But walking down the stairs-- that is something else. Jeebus. So much effort and focus to make sure my legs don't buckle and collapse under the weight. HAHA. Like carrying a whale.
It's been forever since I've done that much exercise- training yesterday kicked my freaking ass.
HAHA A good thing I guess, then maybe I won't be so bad at singles.
I knew my badminton was getting worse, just because of the zero effort put into it.
For now I'll try to get my fitness up, so I won't fail so much, and maybe badminton will be fun again.
Always still itching to pick up a racket and have a hit.

Its quite depressing though, I have to say. Being in the middle of training and having to stop between drills to catch my breath.. Running for 10 minutes and needing to slow down and walk abit. I used to be able to smash out training sessions and run 12kms without stopping. Definitely let myself slip, without even really realising it.
Time to get my shit together and put abit more effort into it.

Completely irrelevant to topic- my hair is finally growing out. Maybe I'll stop cutting it for abit. lol but if you know me, my impatience will get the better of me, and out come the scissors.

Moon Song

I just had a 6 hour nap. Although, a nap is not a nap anymore after anything pushing 3 hours. Lets just say I had my first sleep. Haha.. and now killing time until I feel like sleeping again. Also need to study for rem pros tomorrow. Just cause I realise how little I know after almost a year of study in this area.

So- 3am and no ones awake.. What to do?

I hope I don't regret this..

Wanting to play for more people but always too shy to.. 

I sit there with the guitar/uke in my hands and just sorta but kinda not strum.. try to sing abit but get too embarrassed. 

Aside from my family I don't think I've played for many others, and even then it took me years to play anything while my parents were listening. haha.. That being said, that doesn't include the odd dental camp/ staff party tipsy jam sessions. Ah, fun times.

Anyway, no chance I'd upload onto Youtube cause .. people can be mean. So where better to show than my own blog? :)

Less chance of scrutiny, judgement, less people watching, less comment ability, no pressure to collect likes. LOL just like when I post on twitter as opposed to facebook. No one wants to hear my cool stories on facebook, but on twitter its just normal to cool-story, and people don't care. 

In my opinion the song sounded better on the uke vs my guitar, so I borrowed my brothers.

Haven't had much experience playing the uke.. I can play like 2 songs lul. Lucky for me its relatively easy to pick up the more simpler chords. 

First heard it on David So's youtube, where one of his friends sang while he played the guitar. Thought it was a cute song but didn't think much of it. Then Simon re-introduced the song cause he was learning it also. Hahah.. ofcourse I had to look it up and learn it too.. #crazygifs

Only listened to the song a couple times to get the gist, so I'm pretty sure I've got the melody wrong in about 6 different places, and the lyrics are quite possibly off also. HAHA oh well.. Got tired of singing after awhile.

Anyways, enough of my rambling- Happy Thursday! :)

Growing old

Hello lovely people!

Birthday celebrations need a blog post so here goes-

Happy birthday to meee! Well, its over now but.. the celebrations continue.

Had an epic hot pot with my family on the night of my birthday, organised a dinner with the high-school people Friday night, and spent most of Monday with my dental kids at a cute corner store cafe. 

And this Friday looking forward to having Viv and Shannon stay over at mine for a movie marathon! :D

A few photos for your perusing..

Super thanks to my Rosemay for organising the epic durian cake for my highschool dinner get-together..
Really meant alot to me, putting that much effort into my birthday. Besties for a reason.. ♥

21. People say this is the age where we finally reach adulthood. The age of responsibility. Me? I don't feel any different. Still the same crazy, immature, lame person I was 5 years back. Haha.. Good thing maybe?

I hope to be still fun even when I'm 80. 

I think the only thing thats changed is my thoughts about the future. Constantly thinking about it, and always thinking about how I can save up for it. I've started reading through my first property investment book. LOL. JUN? Thinking like an adult? What the actual eff.. haha 

I dunno, I was just talking to my parents about rental properties and decided to get a book off ebay. Stupid Jun. Could have just borrowed it from the library. Rookie mistake.. haha oh wells. Atleast I can take my time reading it.

Hopefully I'll be able to understand the process more and how to go about it, maybe get my foot in the door as soon as I graduate and find a job.

Job prospects have also been on my mind all the time.

Urgh. I just want a normal life with a cute cottage, epic husband and 3 kids. Is that too much to ask for!? Haha.. The answer is yes. That is a huge ask. And its something I need to work hard for, so hard work will be done. Mr husband, please work hard also, please be smart with your money and make better decisions than I do.

Other than that- the same durian loving, badminton playing, guitar strumming, noob of a girl.